A wedding is celebrated with some kind of ceremony almost everywhere in the world. The ceremonies vary greatly among different nations and different religions. But whatever the form of a marriage ceremony, it serves the important purpose of announcing to the community that a man and a women have been joined in matrimony.
In every culture a wedding is always an extra ordinary event, as it is in Javanese culture. Traditionally, in Javanese culture, before the wedding day a bride has to stay apart from the bridegroom for 40 days. It is called pingitan. The girl particularly, has to keep her body and face clean by using a kind of traditional herbal powder called lulur so that on the wedding day her skin will look bright and soft.
On the last day of her pingitan, there is a ceremony called siraman in which seven elderly relatives will bathe the bride. On this occasion, the bride is bathed in water with certain kinds of flowers ; that is the kembang setaman. Then, she is dressed up by a dukun rias, a beautician. A part of the siraman water is sent to the bridegroom for his bath. In the evening, the bride’s family hold the so-called malam widodaren (the fairy’s night) as a farewell party of her. It is as a symbol before she leaves home and begins her new life. Many of her friends and relatives will come to the party.
On the wedding day, the bridegroom has to promise in the ijab Kabul ceremony. Basically the promises say that he will be faithful, gentle and responsible to his wife and family. As in many other cultures, the bridegroom also has to give his wedding gifts or mas kawin to the bride. The value of the gifts differs from one to another. The richer the bridegroom, the more expensive the mas kawin usually is.
The next day, the bride and the bridegroom meet each other in the temon ceremony. This time they are accompanied by their parents and relatives. In the ceremony the bride and the bridegroom throw some sirih leaves at each other. After this, the bridegroom crushes an egg. As a sign of faithfulness, the bride should kneel down. She washes the bridegroom’s right foot with kembang setaman water and cleans it with a small towel. Then they sit in the bridal couch called pagi-pagi, this time, they listen to advice or ular-ular given by an elderly man. This part of the ceremony is very formal. After that, they go to a less formal one.
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